Dear Diary | A letter to my unmarried self
Bride Babe, stop stressing and get with the programme. The lead up to your big day is supposed to be one of the most exciting times of your life!
You’re having doubts about one of your bridesmaids, understandably. They hijacked your hens, treated your closest friend like mud, you know they’ve badmouthed you on a few occasions and you’re still thinking about having them by your side? Na ah honey! Kick them to the kerb and don’t waste another breath on it. If you don’t, they’re going to look miserable in 90% of your photos anyway - and you have to live with those memories for the rest of your life. Just be careful how you let them go, after all, you don’t want to totally end the friendship, do you?
Which leads me to your guest list darling. If you can’t see yourself being friends with someone in the next five years, why on earth are they on the list? You’ve been distancing yourself and drifting apart from certain people for months now, again just make the break and any drama will be done and dusted well before the big day.
Don’t be in a rush to send out save the dates, even if though you’re having an out of town wedding. Take your time to process the guest list. Tell your family and bridal party the info in person, and deal with the rest as it comes. Anyone who you’re uncertain about, you don’t have to say a single word to them if you don’t feel comfortable. The same being said when they don’t make the list, you don’t need to justify anything to them. You’re just not as close as you used to be and they should know and understand that.
Try not to stress about getting your entire day sorted before you’re even in the six-month countdown, I can guarantee your tastes are going to change over the course of the year - and I know you’re already regretting the navy dresses you purchased the second you got engaged. White is so much more appealing now, isn’t it! Book your main vendors, think about what you love most and sit on things for a while before you do anything - Just make sure the all important star of the show, your dress, is ordered about eight months out from the day so you can make sure it arrives on time.
The three months leading up to the wedding turns into three weeks at the drop of a hat so please just take my advice; suck it up and hire the planner.
I know you want everyone to enjoy the big surprise party you brought to life from scratch, but it’s not worth the stress, especially in the final days. Just hire the wedding planner already and let them take care of bringing the day itself together. If you can’t bring yourself to do that at least tell someone what the plan is and share the load. Remember all those people that said they’d like to help? They wouldn’t have offered if they didn’t mean it!
The details are important, of course they are! But instead of getting caught up on tiny little things focus on what’s making your special day true to you. The signs about getting back out onto the dance floor from the toilet are fun, but they’re totally not necessary. You and I have been to plenty of weddings, and we both know you remember good food, drink and entertainment, and the special moments that made the day unique well over any table setting.
Babe, it’s not your job to keep everyone happy. Wedding planning is a time to focus on you and your partner, and what the two of you want to experience on the day you make the biggest commitment to each other. Block out those opinions floating around, but also don’t be afraid to ask when you need advice or help.
The day is going to run like a dream, and you’re literally the only person that’s going to notice if anything isn’t perfect - so just run with it. Get up early, but not too early unless you like to see the sunrise! Enjoy a wholesome breakfast and a good brew - or McDonalds and bubbles, heck - When in Rome! Put on your favourite tunes and enjoy the quality time with your gal pals. Also, let them listen to the song you’re walking down the aisle to pre-makeup, that stuff should seriously come with a **caution: wet floor** sign. Make sure you’re ready at least an hour before you need to leave so you’re not rushing to put on your dress or chug the bubbles to calm the nerves - that just lands up with bubbles coming out the nose, such a waste. These are moments to cherish and take slowly.
Allow plenty of time to get to the venue, and make sure the car stops in a place where your future husband can’t see you just yet. Again - hire the planner!
It’s ok to make the day a child-free affair, and you’ve done the right thing giving parents over a years notice to sort out a babysitter or alternate plans. What parent wouldn’t want to let their hair down for a night! You’re not sending a message of confusion by including newborns, after all, they are family for one, and two they are dependent on their mothers. At the end of the day, it’s your right to be selective over the entire invite list, children and all.
You don’t need to worry about chatting to everyone on the day, people will understand that you have 103 other guests to get to and you will get a chance to exchange a few words at the very least. When it comes down to it, the true value of your friendship is in the wedding invite and the very fact that they are there to share the day with you.
Take in every single moment you can, before you know it your husband will be whisking you off home for the rest of the night, so stop, and breathe wherever possible. Sneak away with your husband for a few minutes every now and then and just look into each other's eyes. Make the most of golden hour together. Take your wedding dance for a spin with just the two of you together (and make sure you've told the videographer you're putting on a little performance). Hold hands and kiss frequently - just make sure you take some powder to touch up your nose because you’ll need it!
It's going to be the greatest day of your life, I promise you that. Anything that doesn't go to plan is beyond your control, but I can assure you it's going to fill your special day with incredible, unique moments that will rest in your memories for years to come.
You're going to make the most beautiful bride, enjoy xx